Day four: Breakfast is better than anything else

20 Nov

That’s right. I’m not afraid to shake things up and go against the status quo. I’ll just come right out and say it:

Breakfast is the greatest thing on the planet.

Breakfast. It's not just Breakfast anymore.

You heard me, Mr. Lunchy McDinner of Dessertville, USA (I know you read this blog). Breakfast will always be better than you and your stupid steamed carrots.

Why do I love breakfast so much? Well, jeez. Let’s dive in and figure it out. Number one reason: it tastes delicious. I love, love, loveloveLOVELOVELOOOVELUUUURVE me some eggs. Eggs are fabulous things. Honestly, any meal that incorporates eggs into it (I’m looking at you and your sexy ass, Korean dolsot bibimbap) gets a pass in my book. Also, eggs add protein, which is important when you have to maintain an extremely high amount of muscle mass, like I pretend to.

Second reason: maple syrup. It comes from a tree and tastes like heaven. It’s like mother nature is making sweet, passionate love to my mouth, possibly using a maple tree branch to consummate the union. I’m quickly realizing that my first and second reason both revolve around the fact that breakfast is delicious, which might not seem like much of an argument, but that’s not my problem. It’s your fault for not immediately agreeing with me, Mrs. Doubtfire.

Robin Williams' Mrs. Doubtfire, who was very loosely based on the real Mrs. Doubfire, who was a gigantic mean old bitch.

That’s right. To be precise, her full name is Mrs. Freethinking Scofflaw Doubtfire-Cynic. It was an arranged marriage, and she decided to keep Mr. Cynic’s last name, as well as the hyphen. She thought it’d be easier that way. She drove him to an early grave, thanks to a mixture of nagging, scoffing, and his own predisposition towards heart disease.

My third reason also has to do with the wonderful taste of breakfast: specifically, biscuits. I can’t make them from scratch, but I am willing to try, if anyone has a recipe. Gravy is a perfect accompaniment to biscuits, and leads directly into my next reason:

Breakfast meats. My personal favorite is bacon, but delicious sausage is a close second. How does gravy relate to breakfast meats, you might ask? It’s simple: You make gravy using leftover breakfast meat drippings. You literally pour flour in the pan of leftover grease, and you now have gravy. For those of you that are vegan: I’m sure that there’s a way to make gravy that doesn’t involve tender, delicious animal fat, but I don’t know how. Maybe Meg can fill you in on her blogging day.


I’ll pause here, so you can fully digest (d’you see what I did there?) what I just said. I’ll have a sip of my crappy office coffee while I let you take that in.

Back with me? I might be going to jail, because I’m sure I just made someone’s head explode, but I don’t care. I’m here to drop bombs on your moms. Specifically, truth bombs. Right on your…you know. Your moms.

I’m sure there is also a part of me that realizes that breakfast was the only meal of the day that I really got to spend with my family growing up, because I am a latchkey kid that basically ate macaroni and cheese for every other meal until I was fourteen. My dad loves to cook breakfast, and I fondly remember eating that breakfast around the kitchen table. It was really the only time that I had to bond with my folks most of the time, just because of how busy they were while raising me. My sister, too. She was much older than me, and was gone from the house by the time I was five or six, but I will never forget one Christmas morning when I was around ten or eleven and she was in town. She showed me how to put peanut butter on my french toast. To this day, I make a Christmas tradition of eating french toast with peanut butter, just because of the impact that ten minute chunk of time had on me. Honestly, I can’t think of french toast without thinking of my sister.

So, there you go. A combination of delicious food combined with incredible potent memories of my childhood makes breakfast the one meal that I will always overdo. I know that I typically don’t enjoy cooking exciting or complicated dishes, but that all goes out the window if breakfast is being cooked. I am Emiril Lagasse if eggs are involved.

Sunday’s food:

Omelettes with green onions, bell peppers, tomatoes, and a little cheddar cheese (they’re paper thin and wonderful). Seriously, if you want a good omelette, I have learned the tricks from one of the greatest cooks I know- Meg’s dad.

I made myself crepes for lunch (see? I like breakfast). A thing about crepes- I see now why people always stuff them. They are so thin that you seriously need to eat like nine crepes to make the equivalent of two pancakes, which I did. They were fantastic. On top of the crepes I used agave nectar that is flavored like maple. It has all the taste of maple syrup, but about one-third of the glycemic load of the real stuff. It’s also much, much cheaper than pure maple syrup. (Thanks for the tip, Liz!)

I have no idea what Meg ate for lunch, because she was at roller derby practice followed immediately by Sunday Funday with a bunch of other derby girls. She probably just ate beer.

For dinner, I pulled out the crock pot and made Thai peanut pork. It takes like 8 hours to make, but the pork is tender and wonderful and peanutty. If I had to live on one type of food (besides american breakfast) it would probably be Thai food, just because I go bananas for the complex mix of sweet, salty, and spicy flavors that Thai food provides.

That’s it for today. How do you feel about breakfast? Do you hate it? Is breakfast for dinner the greatest thing since breakfast for breakfast? Let us know in the comments!



4 Responses to “Day four: Breakfast is better than anything else”

  1. pisceshanna November 21, 2011 at 1:43 pm #

    Breakfast = Spicy V8

  2. pisceshanna November 21, 2011 at 1:52 pm #

    Oh and if you like eggs so much, homemade Chicken-Fried Rice is wicked easy 🙂

  3. Becca Lumbert November 27, 2011 at 11:43 am #

    Breakfast is amazing… and sooo fun to make. I am a big fan of blueberry pancakes. I have a good biscuit recipe. I’ll have to dig it out, They’re not the rolled out kind, but the ‘drop’ biscuits that are crumbly and perfect for a plate of biscuits and gravy… nectar of the gods.

    Do yourself a favor, get a small coffee press or a thermos for work, and bring yourself some GOOD coffee to work. Office coffee will slowly kill you. 😉

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