That’s right. I’m not afraid to shake things up and go against the status quo. I’ll just come right out and say it:
Breakfast is the greatest thing on the planet.
You heard me, Mr. Lunchy McDinner of Dessertville, USA (I know you read this blog). Breakfast will always be better than you and your stupid steamed carrots.
Why do I love breakfast so much? Well, jeez. Let’s dive in and figure it out. Number one reason: it tastes delicious. I love, love, loveloveLOVELOVELOOOVELUUUURVE me some eggs. Eggs are fabulous things. Honestly, any meal that incorporates eggs into it (I’m looking at you and your sexy ass, Korean dolsot bibimbap) gets a pass in my book. Also, eggs add protein, which is important when you have to maintain an extremely high amount of muscle mass, like I pretend to.
Second reason: maple syrup. It comes from a tree and tastes like heaven. It’s like mother nature is making sweet, passionate love to my mouth, possibly using a maple tree branch to consummate the union. I’m quickly realizing that my first and second reason both revolve around the fact that breakfast is delicious, which might not seem like much of an argument, but that’s not my problem. It’s your fault for not immediately agreeing with me, Mrs. Doubtfire.
That’s right. To be precise, her full name is Mrs. Freethinking Scofflaw Doubtfire-Cynic. It was an arranged marriage, and she decided to keep Mr. Cynic’s last name, as well as the hyphen. She thought it’d be easier that way. She drove him to an early grave, thanks to a mixture of nagging, scoffing, and his own predisposition towards heart disease.
My third reason also has to do with the wonderful taste of breakfast: specifically, biscuits. I can’t make them from scratch, but I am willing to try, if anyone has a recipe. Gravy is a perfect accompaniment to biscuits, and leads directly into my next reason: